That being said, this may be our only biological child. I told G upfront that we'd go on a case by case basis, but I was only promising him 1. We both want to adopt
We were not planning to do anything medically about our fertility issues. I've spoken to G about my feelings on it, and he agrees with me. I feel that for some people there is a reason that their bodies can't seem to make it work, and I feel that with adoption as an option for us, that it isn't worth the risk to both my body and the child to try anything further than hormone shots. IVF was not something I was willing to even consider. The largest study on babies born through IVF (I believe done in Sweden) found a higher rate of birth defects and cancer rates. I'm not willing to risk a higher rate of health problems for my child because of my desire to carry one.
Now, many people can say, "But you can say that because you're pregnant." No, I have said this for the last 4 years, discussing it with G every time my cycle came, or every time we had what can be described as an very early term miscarriage. I said these things even as I was trying to accept that I may never give birth to a child. Perhaps I'm more accepting of life and my own limitations, but I was able to think about it rationally, and was lucky because I have an incredibly supportive husband.
Yes, we're happy that we now are having a child, and we may be lucky enough to have another some day. But I'm also okay with the idea that this may be our one shot. I will love all my children, no matter how God sees fit to give them to me.
We said the very same thing. My husband had testicular cancer about a decade ago and pretty intense chemo/radiation plus the loss of a testicle. He had sperm frozen before he started treatment & surgery, but I knew I never wanted to use it. Too much money, too much pain, too much anguish when there are so many babies on this planet already who desperately need families. We decided one year of trying conventionally before we even went to a doc, and then we would surely adopt. We got pregnant within the first three months of me going off birth control.
ReplyDeleteI still feel the same way. If we EVER decided for a second, we again would try conventionally but if it didn't work, it's the world telling us to adopt. :)