Saturday, March 23, 2013

Dear Eleanor,

As I type this you lay beside me, snoozing away, not a care in the world.  I've held you a lot lately, thanking God for giving you to me.  Praying you never ever get taken from me.

I love our small little family.  It wasn't until your father and you that I truly understood unconditional love.  Even when I'm beyond exhausted and you've been trying to drive me crazy I still pick you up and croon to you and rock you.  I worried that I would have no idea how to be the type of mama I wanted to be, and yet, you do make it easy.

You're mischievous, and brighter than I suspect one your age is supposed to be.  You know when I might be getting annoyed and you lean in and smooch me, as if that makes it all better.  Your daddy and I laugh because it usually does.  I spent much of my life feeling as if I had to earn being loved, and yet you give it so freely it's startling.  In that respect you are your father's child, and both of you are a blessing.

You are a loving child, who loves to give smooches and hugs.  If I offer to snuggle you come in and curl into me.  And we giggle for hours on end most days.  You get a glint in your eye and you're off and running, laughing as we chase you.  You recently mastered going up stairs, and you head over, glancing back to make sure we've noticed, and then glancing back each step up until we rush and in a fit of giggles, sweep you off them.

But you also have my temper.  The bitter with the sweet, I suppose.  I've always said to your daddy that unfortunately my passion comes in spades, both good and bad.  And you seem to have inherited that.  You began flinging yourself backwards at 4 months, and at 16 months, it's become too much to handle, we simply lie you down and wait it out.  You get so frustrated, so annoyed.  And your goodness, they're so perfect they make us laugh.  But you always, always want cuddles once it's over.  You seem to need reassurance that all is right in your world.

I will never not love you, my love.  I dare say I will never stop wanting to snuggle with you, even if you grow and are no longer so eager.  But I do hope we stay close.  It is my most fervent prayer.

Je t'aime,

1 comment: